Monday, March 23, 2009

Please stop calling babies miracles.

From Wikipedia:

A miracle is a sensibly perceptible interruption of the laws of nature, such that can only be explained by divine intervention, and is sometimes associated with a miracle-worker. Many folktales, religious texts, and people claim various events they refer to as "miraculous". People in different cultures have substantially different definitions of the word "miracle." Even within a specific religion there is often more than one of the term. Sometimes the term "miracle" may refer to the action of a supernatural being that is not a god. Thus, the term "divine intervention," by contrast, would refer specifically to the direct involvement of a deity.

In casual usage, "miracle" may also refer to any statistically unlikely but beneficial event, (such as the survival of a natural disaster) or even which regarded as "wonderful" regardless of its likelihood, such as birth. Other miracles might be: survival of a fatal illness, escaping a life threatening situation or 'beating the odds.'


Compare that with the fact that there are 129 MILLION human births every year. How could something that happens 4 times a second be a miracle? Its biology, and mundane biology at that. So go take your special little snowflake and fuck off, entitled parents.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Food and Fear

I'm sitting here watching Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations", and he's in Manhattan, dining at all the old, great pillars of fooddom. Old delis with their black crusted pastrami that isn't stringy, dry and fatty, but soft, tender, and moist. Italian eateries with grandmas who cook, serve, and clean, just like they have for 50 odd years. Chinese places with hidden menus that can only be ordered in Cantonese, and the list goes on. In the program, there are many many references to the places like TGI Fridays, Olive Garden, Outback, and the other places that are tangential, sterilized versions of these old standbys.

This made me think: How did these tangential versions come about? And how did they get to where they are today? I think that the original thought to bringing these estsablishments to life was to pay homage to the originals, and to bring the inner city neighborhoods out to the suburbs. But somewhere between that and now, the corporate Disneyheads got hold of it and decided to castrate it. Gone were the huge chops, home made sauce, or the other little touches that were deemed too scary, or too expensive, or not mainstream enough.

The question remains, was it the fault of the proprieters of these establishments, the corporate bean counters, or was it the fault of the dining public, allowing mediocrity to pervade their gastronomical lives? When the most exciting thing on the menu is an overcooked, oversalted chicken fajita, and that's only exciting because it sizzles? When the tiramisu is often served frozen? When the steak is so heavily seasoned, you can barely taste the meat? And people go to these places, by the hundreds. Every night I go by Chilis, Outback, The 99, and a few other restsaurants that are packed each and every night with people eating mediocre food and drinking mediocre beer.(another post entirely)

I think that it comes down to confort. People enjoy comfort. They enjoy getting the same thing every time, knowing that the ny strip steak will be exactly the same as the ny strip steak they had last time, and the time before that, and the time they were in Altoona. And the place in Altoona has the same interior, with the same waitstaff, and the same outfits and smiles and fun birthday songs for that wonderful little cherub at table 4. When you change things, or ask people to change, or even worse, force them to change, they hate it. I understand this, I hate change in certain parts of my life, like my work situation. So I can understand the fear, but I can't understand why people would take this attitude to food. Food is wonderful, and good food is a work of art, an expression of love from someone who wants to pass on a message. That message might be their own invention, or their grandmother's recipe, or simply the traditions of their homeland. Let them share. Let them show you their heart. Take an adventure, and you will be rewarded. Explore, and you wil be brought to wonderful gastronomical places, and you will come away with knowledge and happiness.